I broke a dozen bones in my first car accident and half that number by the age of said accident. Lots of people have questions and comments about the pain from all those injuries, but what about the after effects? Does healing hurt?
Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and energetic healing causes discomfort and soreness as well as other emotional responses compounded on top of the original injury, such as anxiety, worry, guilt, etc. So, yes, healing can and does hurt.
There is plenty of information online about the implications of physical injuries and healing.
At Amo Ni, we specialize in the emotional and energetic side of healing, so let’s get started.
What Causes the Emotional Pain?
First things first: Change hurts.
Remember being a teenager?
Me too. I didn’t like it… AT ALL! It was awkward, uncomfortable, jittery, and just plain miserable.
And what does change cause?
The answer is growth. Growth hurts. It forces us out of our comfort zone and forces us to change (more change) our habits.
Yeah, I don’t either, but I live in the ring of fire on the Asian side on one of the most active fault lines in the world, so I know a little enough about earthquakes for this next example.
When the earth changes, we feel it. Houses rattle, conversations drop to a whisper, and all attention gets focused on the immediate surroundings for a few seconds. It’s a humbling experience. It’s also an analogous experience; analogous to the way you handle change.
Let’s take two random scenarios.
You don’t really like your job, but it pays the bills. You show up on time, do what you’re told, and get things done when people ask you to. All the while, you’ve saved a little cash each month, but if you lost your job, you’d need to find another one pretty quickly.
You walk into work after a fairly uneventful weekend, and the boss tells you the company needs to cut costs. You’re a cost and they’ll find other ways to get your job done.
How’s that make you feel?
Probably a few of those, plus a few more.
Now you’re asked to change.
And guess what?
You’ve been married for 5 years. Life is pretty good. You and your spouse have settled into a routine. You both work hard and have gotten into the habit of prioritizing your future. This has also taken all the focus off the present. In doing so, you’ve put on a few pounds, gotten sloppy with your manners, and when you do have free time, you’d rather be alone.
Your spouse comes home on a Friday and tells you they are going away for the weekend.
Sunday night comes and you get a text from your spouse saying they’re gonna stay over an extra day.
Two more days go by and this one comes in: “We need to talk.”
A month later, they’re filing for divorce and you’re all alone for the first time in a decade.
Change does that to you.
Why Does Healing Hurt?
Growth and change are both attributable to the pain you experience while healing. Both move us out of our comfort zones and force us to do things we’ve never done or have forgotten how to do.
This static nature we find ourselves in is due to the desire of the subconsciousness to control as many variables as possible. The subconscious is the master and commander of the ship we call “I”.
Before satellites, mariners had to rely on the tides and stars to guide their way to new lands and back home to familiar ones. With each new journey, they expanded the maps they used to help them “see” the way a little better.
Your body/subconscious use emotions to guide the way. It programs emotions when you are a child and it uses those emotions and your reactions to them to dictate how you feel about ice cream, jealousy, family, clowns, money, poverty, health, exercise, spaghetti, Italians, and everything else you come in contact.
When you’re conceived, you’re a blank slate. A few months later, your subconscious is mad busy, chiseling away at that slate, recording your every move AND those of others.
It does so because it’s also in charge of running your internal gear. There’s a lot going on in there, in case you weren’t aware: oxygen, what to do with it, where to take it, the blood and the production of it, hormones, digestion, nutrient absorption, elimination, and everything between.
On top of all that, it needs to know what’s going on outside.
It needs to know:
- if people laugh at me I should feel (embarrassed/proud)
- if a dog runs at me, I should assume it’s (angry/happy)
- if a person touches me where they should not, I should feel (guilty/ashamed)
- if I get some money, I should feel (empowered, regretful)
That’s four different examples with only two choices for each. A small sampling of the possibilities your subconscious can and does chose from.
Do you realize how many situations you are in each day that the subconscious is tagging environmental elements?
Now, multiply that times 365 days a year and seven and a half years.
“You said seven years.”
Outside the womb, yes. But you start embodying emotions well before that point. The collecting starts around the first trimester.
“You also said change and growth cause the pain. This makes it sound like we’re robots who don’t change.”
Most of us do act like robots and rarely change past the initial emotions we write into our software. Also, the title of this article is “Does Healing Hurt?” That’s for those who try to change.
“But life hurts without change, too.”
That’s a wonderful point which I’ll address next.
Do I Need to Experience Change to Feel Pain
No, you do not.
Pain is also evident in not changing. It’s the pain we realize from not growing and changing. It’s the pain of staying in our cocoons and refusing the transformation we’d enjoy if we embraced the process.
“Damned if I do. Damned it I don’t, then?”
Personally, I think the “damned if I don’t” is much worse. I’ll tell you why in a sec.
That pain is most commonly felt as frustration. But if you look just under the surface of that frustration you’ll realize it’s one of the best teachers you’ll ever encounter. It’s you.
It’s you holding a mirror for yourself to look into, so you can see exactly what’s holding you back.
And guess what you’ll see when you look into the mirror?
But not the you that you know right now. It shows the you that you can become once you ditch the programs causing the frustration.
The frustration is caused by you trying to do something that DOES NOT align with your programmed emotions.
You can’t lose weight because you’ve got it programmed that the weight (keeps you invisible, makes people laugh at you, takes your responsibility to show up away, etc.)
You have to keep your current job because (it’s safe, you’re not good enough for more money, people like you don’t change/start businesses, etc.)
The scenarios in brackets are a taste of the programs you install. There are thousands more and millions of other combinations.
“So the pain of frustration shows me where I need to embrace change and grow?”
What Can I Do to Stop the Pain?
I can think of no other pain worse than the pain of not living your best life.
To me, there’s no other defeat worse than caving into failure. Failure is not an end of the road thing. In many cases, it’s a lesson learned we take back to the fork in the road.
But too many of us use failure as an excuse to not try again. I tried living with that once. All it did was suck more of the life from my soul.
The pain I tried to stop was the pain from the frustration, the pain of my own expectations falling short of intentions, and using those failures to define the type of person I thought I was: a loser, deadbeat, broken, drunk, derelict.
The most effective way to move from the pain of frustration into the transformative pain of change is to remove the emotional blocks holding you back, so you can no longer make excuses and forge ahead into new territory.
Once you do that, he pain changes from cold and limiting to warm and inspiring. The warmth you experience in the change from frustration to growth is from the friction we all experience when we shift gears and start doing things we’ve never done before.
This system, Amo Ni, changed my life. It gave me the power of dialogue with my body. That also caused a nitro boost of intuitiveness. Once my subconscious knew I was listening, I got a lot more insight into my daily life and the decisions therein.
The dialogue comes from muscle testing. Once you’re proficient muscle testing, you can find the emotions causing the frustration. We peg those emotions on a meridian chart, then use emotional release points, and pranayamic breathing to move the emotions out of the stored areas they’ve collected. Finally, we use the power of intentions and a little NLP suggestion to imagine ourselves out of the confines of the past and onto the path of our conscious choices.
How Long Does the Pain Last?
Pain from frustration can last a lifetime. Mine lasted over 40 years.
Pain from growth is temporary.
You grow, change, plateau. On the plateau, enjoy the view. Take in the sights, sounds, smells. Have a soothing drink. Kick back in the hammock and enjoy the sunset. Sleep in the next morning and high-five yourself when you get out of bed.
Rinse. Wash. Repeat.
Which would you prefer?
I’d say the choice is yours, but if you’re still on the fence, the programs are really in control. You’ll seize it when you finally realize you do have a choice. That’s the day the self-awareness sets in and the programs get spotlighted.
And that will be the first day of the rest of your life.
If you’d like me to show you the way, book a session today.