Here’s a translation of, “How Do I Stop Self-Sabotaging Subconsciously”: how do I turn on the lights in the dark? When you look at it from that perspective, the answer seems pretty easy, doesn’t it? You look for the switch, and flip it.
Luckily, the answer is that simple. All you need to do is find the “switch”. Many a man and woman have fumbled for that switch over the centuries. Some have stumbled upon it through meditation, intentional living, minimalism, therapy, and even psychedelic drugs.
I’ve personally tried them all, then some, but I didn’t find the switch until I discovered a multi-disciplinary system that gave me a flashlight to carry around the “house” my subconscious created with all the trauma it embodied and held onto to dictate how my life was unfolding.
I took that “flashlight” a.k.a. awareness into each of the rooms, flipped the switch, and exposed the self-sabotaging thoughts, words, deeds, emotions, and energy I used to derail my conscious intentions and keep me living in the past, a past created and perpetuated by the emotional experiences of a child.
If you’d like your own flashlight to run around the rooms of YOUR “house” and spotlight/eliminate self-sabotage for good, I’ll show you where to find it during the live Amo Ni webinar. Otherwise, keep scrolling.
How Do I Find Something That Doesn’t Want to be Found?
You started self-sabotaging as a child. It happened as you responded to something in your external environment. I can’t say why you did it or what devices you used to self-sabotage, but I can give you a few examples from my own life to help you identify similar instances in your own. Unfortunately, your subconscious will do its damnest to keep you denying the existence of these programs long after you “think” these examples sound like something you may have done and are more than likely still doing.
I was the first-born. My brother came two and a half years later. Being the first-born and only child, I felt important. That stopped when my brother was born. I felt like I had to fight for him for love and attention. I also felt less than.. less worthy, less important, less loved, etc.
Pattern established: Acting out to get attention/keep me feeling less than
When I was 12 years old, my parents sat us down in their bedroom and told us they were getting a divorce. This was in the late 80’s. I grew up in a small town and my parents were the first I knew of to go through a divorce. I had no idea how to cope, so I ran out of the room, through the house, and into the woods behind our house. I went back home later that night when I got hungry.
Pattern established: Running, physically, as well as using drugs and alcohol
I didn’t like school much. I was always faking getting sick. I held thermometers up to lightbulbs, rolled in poison ivy, and came up with any and every sick excuse to get out of going. I remember getting jealous when my brother got his tonsils taken out.
Pattern established: physical manifestations of injury and illness
Why You’re the Most Narcissistic Person You’ll Ever Meet
What is narcissism?
WebMd defines narcissism as “extreme self-involvement to the degree that it makes a person ignore the needs of those around them.”
So, who’s the most narcissistic entity you’ve ever encountered OR will over encounter?
Look in the mirror.
It’s not you, but that entity is part of you.
It’s your very own subconscious.
Think about how the subconscious works.
The subconscious is the part of you in charge of keeping you alive. It controls everything from your breathing to hormone production and cellular regeneration… AND everything in between.
Let’s just say it’s got its hands full.
So when something happens on the outside that the subconscious needs to respond to, it calls upon previous responses. If the first instance worked and you kept breathing, that’s good enough for the subconscious. The next time a similar instance happens, that same response gets triggered. If it works again, you got yourself a pattern, and a prison the subconscious has cornered you in, along with all the frustration that comes along with that imprisonment.
That frustration comes from what you consciously want battling against the subconscious programs. It’s frustrating when you consciously try to make more money, lose weight, get in shape, find a good partner and your subconscious is keeping those things away from you by cuing responses that repel those things because of past programming.
The subconscious doesn’t care what you consciously want. It just cares what you saw, experienced, thought, felt, or heard before.
Your present day life is tied to the past because your subconscious WILL NOT LET IT GO, making it the most narcissistic person/entity you’ll EVER encounter.
What Is The Most Common Symptom of Self-Sabotage?
Symptoms of self-sabotage are as varied as the emotions causing them, but a here’s a sampling:
- addiction (food, sex, alcohol, drugs, work, emotion, exercise, dieting, etc., etc. etc.)
- cheating (romantic, competitive, tax, etc., etc., etc.)
- abuse (physical, emotional, psychological, mental. animal) of yourself or others
- laughing at others
- phobias and fright
- lying (similar to cheating)
- spending excess money/debt/ poor money decisions
Each and every one of these actions/reactions can be used to self-sabotage, plus hundreds, maybe thousands more.
What Are Some Examples of Self-Sabotaging Behaviors?
Let’s take the first couple of examples from the symptoms of self-sabotage listed above and see how a few variations of each might present itself as an example of that symptom in action.
Using any of the above forms of addiction to keep us from living our best life. Maybe we drink and push success away. We could eat and push partners away. We could use sex or drugs to put ourselves in situations where we’re physically or legally in trouble.
Reactivity may come from anger and lashing out at others, or may come from drama created when someone doesn’t feel like they’re being treated fairly. The drama can be a category all by itself, as could be the infinite ways it’s used to compromise an otherwise promising situation.
Running can be physically leaving or running away from problems. It can also be used in conjunction with a substance or action to escape, like an addiction to alcohol or avoidance.
Is Self-Sabotage a Trauma Response?
Every action you take, unless you’ve come to terms with the original programming, is a trauma response.
When you think of the word trauma, you probably envision a car accident, war veteran, or sexual assault survivor, but trauma can be as small as a butterfly landing on your shoulder. You don’t get to decide what trauma is. That’s your subconscious’s decision.
Consciously, we think we have all the answers, that we’re in control. We’re not. We’re far from being in control. In fact, most of the time we’re running around doing our little routines, and when we’re in routine, the subconscious is in control. It’s cuing the normal responses and we’re coasting without a clue.
Is Self-Sabotage Intentional?
Self-sabotage is an intentional response cued by the subconscious to handle external stimulation similar to another instance that happened in the past.
Self-sabotage is not a completely conscious act. Later in life, when we become conscious of our actions, we’re accustomed to the process and assume that’s who we are.
How Do I Stop Self-Sabotaging Subconsciously?
To stop self-sabotaging, you must become consciously aware of the things you are doing, saying, thinking, feeling, and the energy you give off, contributing to the behaviors undermining your success.
It goes back to the translation offered in the first sentence: how do I turn on the lights in the dark?
Another, maybe better, example would be, how do I see in the dark?
Our eyes aren’t designed to do so.
To physically see in the dark, we need some assistance in the form of light.
To beat the self-sabotaging behaviors, you need the equivalent of a light to shine on those behaviors. That light is self-awareness.
Once you are consciously aware of the suppressed emotions causing you to say, do, think, and feel the things causing you problems, you then, and only then, have a choice. You can keep doing that which you know and are familiar with, or you can make a conscious choice to say, do, feel, or think something different. Conscious awareness affords choice, which affords you the opportunity to change those choices and change your life.
Until you have that awareness, you’ll continue to rummage around in the dark.
I tried everything you can imagine and a lot you can’t to get myself out of the dark.
Amo Ni is the program I used to eradicate the programs controlling my life. It is a multidisciplinary healing system, incorporating muscle testing, meridian charts/release points, a three-step vagal stimulating/pranayamic breathing practice, and the future-magnetizing effects of NLP. It’s the only system I know of allowing an individual to be their own therapist, to explore their own psyche and heal themselves with methodical precision.