I drank for most of my adult life. I hid my drinking. I excused my drinking. I joked about my drinking, all in an attempt to keep doing it. I did so because the drink was the only friend I could “talk to” who made me feel good, who put a smile on my face. If you want to stop drinking, this is the process that worked for me.
Drinking, like EVERY other addiction, including overeating, drug use, AND even actions like self-abuse, IS NOT about the substance/vehicle carrying the abuse. The substance/vehicle is what we’ve found to cover up what we don’t like inside.
Happiness Will Help You Stop Drinking (stay with me)
Addiction IS the search for happiness outside of oneself. When we turn to the bottle, or sex, a line, or smoke, we find (for a brief spell) an illusion of happiness.
To not only stop drinking, but MOVE PAST alcohol AND any other addiction, you MUST find happiness. Sounds like some hippy bullsh*t, right? Nothing you ever hear will ring more true.
Many people can stop drinking, but how many of those actually get over it? How many people still must sit in groups and tell themselves they are addicts, delinquents, and weak to the power of the bottle?
I have mad respect for all the different ways people move away from their addictions and stop drinking, but if the underlying factors that sent them to the bottle never get dealt with, the person will continue going to meetings, nursing their shitty coffee, warming their hands through an equally shitty styrofoam cup, and thinking they are inferior and weak to a liquid that ruined their life, or at least part of it.
You’ve fought hard to be at the place you are now where you can honestly look around and say, “It’s time”. If you’re like me and the rest of the people here, this is something you’ve fought with since your first drop of the magical elixir.
The next question then is, “How the flying f*ck am I supposed to pull this off?”
Hold on. I’ll get you there. I’ll at least point you in the direction, I promise.
Frustration is Your Best Friend to Stop Drinking
I now know that the fight, the struggle, a.k.a. frustration is the biggest key to finding your happiness.
It’s YOUR Problem
ALL OF IT!
Bare with me, partner…
Frustration is Your New Best Friend
That frustration you feel is YOU going up against YOUR unconscious programs. Which means the things you are fighting were put there by YOU!!
“I did this to myself?”
Damn skippy! Saddle up for a little history/biology/psychology lesson.
Not long after conception, your subconscious began storing your responses to the people, places, things, situations, emotions, and energy you encounter. Yes, even tucked away “safe” in your mother’s womb, you’re already trying to make sense of the world.
And how does little ole you make sense of the world?
You use emotions. The emotional reactions you encounter and those you homebrew for yourself dictate how you experience the world.
That happens at lightning speed in rapid procession, like a Gatling gun on steroids until you’re about 7 years old.
Your subconscious uses your body like a high school hallway.
Remember the lockers lining both sides of the hall? Unlike the unused books and scraps of notes balled up in the lockers, your body stores emotions.
And the storage of those emotions, a.k.a. your reactions can happen in the snap of the finger/blink of an eye, without you ever being the wiser.
That’s why you have no idea why you drink yourself stupid, self-sabotage your life, continually find partners who only make things worse, and generally screw yourself, then rake yourself over the coals, with drink in hand (of course)… each time it happens AGAIN!!
The truth is, it’s your fault… but not the “you” you’re thinking of when you look in the mirror.
It’s the other guy’s/girl’s fault: YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS.
It’s his/her fault because that’s who’s in charge when you are running on routine.
Think you don’t?? Whatever!!
Even if you try to come off as some high flying successful (fill in the career), you’re as boring and routine as the next. Think about how your day unfolds.
- do the same thing EVERY DAY
- go through the same motions
- make the same choices
- REACT to the same things every single day
That means ALL DAY EVERY DAY you’re being run by the programs installed by a toddler version of yourself.
The programs can come from:
- something your mom said as she was breastfeeding you…even the way she felt while she did
- a teacher snapping at you
- the neighborhood dog
- a loud noise on the TV while you’re staring peacefully out the window
- dropping ice cream and getting yelled at
- getting bad grades and getting yelled at
- getting good grades and not getting praised
- getting good grades and getting too much praise
You name it. The experiences pour in, as do your emotional reactions to them.
How to Stop Drinking
“So what do I do? Quit my job and meditate until I find my happiness?”
You wasted part of your life with the abuse, there’s no need to waste more time sitting cross-legged in a cave trying to swat away the guilt, shame, anger, sadness, anger, and every other emotion arising as you try to keep your mind clear of the reasons you’re sitting there staring at the back of your eyelids in the first place.
From my own experience, meditation takes too long. It’s a good grounding practice, but..
You’re ready to get to the bottom of your problems, and what I’m about to tell you is hands down THE FASTEST, MOST EFFICIENT, BADASS way of clearing your baggage and successfully moving on with life; not just moving on, but leveling up. Because once you find the emotions causing you to be in this position in the first place, you clear out a lot of other unconscious behavior you’re tossing around that’s keeping you from owning other areas of life.
You’re familiar with the two birds, one stone analogy, right? This is more like a flock of birds with a mofo shotgun.
Who the H*ll Are You?
The following few paragraphs are my… let’s call them my “drinking resume” if you like. We’re all on the same team and we all have to live with the things we’ve done, both drunk and sober. Those decisions helped shape who we are today. For better or worse, those decisions are in the past. Below are a few of mine; the ones that put me in a situation where I needed to heal and therefore the ones that shone the light on the truth that I am a healer, same as YOU!
I will tell you a few facts, though. I started drinking around 13. At 19, I rolled a car and nearly killed myself. The cop on the scene told the ambulance to take their time. Two years later, I had another gruesome accident that almost cost me my right leg. Did that sober me up and help me stop drinking?
After I graduated, I pushed my friends and family further away by moving overseas. I left a budding career making 6-figures in my mid-twenties and settled down in Asia to teach English for less than a fifth of the money. I spent the next 15 years moving from country to country, spending everything I had, degrading myself in public in third-world countries where people worry about having food on the table.
I hoped most nights that it would all end while I slept and the curtain to the nightmare would slowly close, just an exit stage left after a scene in the middle of the play where all the other players would continue as the “show” must go on.
Everything changed when health issues arose and I realized the end would be slower and more painful than I had the stomach for if I didn’t stop drinking.
I tell you that to illuminate why/how tragedy sparks change.
Trauma and Tragedy Help Us Change
The subconscious is a beast. It’s in charge of running all the behind-the-scenes stuff going on in your body, including but not limited to:
- heart rate
- viral response
- basically all the stuff that keeps you alive
That’s why it’s so hard to change.
The emotions calling the shots are being played/cued by the same system in charge of keeping you alive. So when you want to change, ask yourself which side wins that tug-of-war battle: life/safety vs. hopes/dreams.
Sorry, but your little hopes and dreams have no chance…. unless something shakes the foundation.
And that’s why tragedy has the power to change people. Tragedy, trauma, call it rainbow sherbet if you want, but that stuff shakes you sufficiently so your toddler’s emotions get ruffled enough for you to finally take a breath of CONSCIOUS air. That’s the “Oh, sh#t! WTF am I doing” moment.
And that’s the moment you CAN ACTUALLY change.
That’s the moment you experience….
The Game-Changing Magic of Self-Awareness
Here’s my definition of self-awareness:
(noun) conscious recognition of the thoughts, words, deeds, emotions, and energy you use to dictate the outcome of your interactions with the relationships in your life. *
In the moment of tragedy, trauma, rainbow sherbet, or through the process I’m about to tell you about, you receive clarity a.k.a. conscious recognition of the programs that were running your life.
And in that moment of clarity, you FINALLY have a choice. Once we pull the curtain away and the things you have been unconsciously doing to wreck your life are front and center, YOU GET TO CHOOSE. You can keep doing those things that led you to the point in the path where you are now, or you can decide to take a step off that programmed path and move onto the path you will now create (if you so desire) with the cobblestones of YOUR CONSCIOUS INTENTIONS!!!
The Second Most Powerful Feeling Ever
Realizing you now have a choice to stop drinking is the second most powerful feeling you’ll ever experience. It’s yours to make because the frustration… the magnetic pull from the subconscious program disappears.
The Most Powerful Feeling Ever
And once you get into the habit of seizing that choice, you’ll experience THE MOST POWERFUL FEELING YOU’LL EVER EXPERIENCE, better than sex, booze, ecstasy, a ruler sized line of coke, or anything else you’ve ever counted on for happiness.
You’ll get to feel the power of consciously making the choices now dictating the way you consciously want to go, which is akin to that scene in Reservoir Dogs when the main cast struts through the parking lot like the bad mofos they are.
“How the hell do I seize that power?”
Opening the Lines of Communication
First, as many of the people have said, a support group is good, especially at the beginning. It can be family, friends, or a group of strangers holding shitty styrofoam cups. You won’t need them forever, but the first stage of moving on from an addiction is HARD AS F*CK!!!! So be prepared for shakes, trembles, tantrums, soaked sheets, sleepless nights, and more when you stop drinking. I can count all of those and a few more.
Some people recommend doctors. I won’t say no, but I didn’t need them. I drank all day every day for decades. You might feel more comfortable talking to a “professional”.
After what I’ve been through, I think we put too much power in their hands and in doing so weaken our own capabilities, but that’s another discussion I delve into in this video on why western medicine is keeping you sick.
Muscle testing or self-muscle testing is the most powerful tool I’ve ever discovered. It opens a direct line of communication between you and your body, a.k.a. your subconscious, and the programs you stored as a child. I’ve spent thousands of dollars on books, courses (online and in person), gurus, and retreats. Nothing came close to the power I discovered with muscle testing.
Self-muscle testing establishes a direct link between you and your subconscious. It gives you a precise language, in the form of “yes” or “no” answers, where you communicate with your subconscious to uncover the emotions you’ve used to create the reality you are now living.
The day you realize you can talk to yourself (not in the am I going crazy sense) is similar in feeling to the second most powerful feeling you’ll ever experience I listed above. It is that powerful because now you get to find out the emotions you’ve used to dictate how your life unfolded up until this point. It’s uplifting because you then realize, with a few other tools, you have everything at your disposal to make the changes you need to CHANGE THE WAY YOUR LIFE UNFOLDS from this day forth.
No longer will:
- you be a stooge to programs
- old emotions make you a slave to the past
- old triggers have the same ruinous impact on the snap judgements and decisions you make
And that day is a GREAT F’N DAY. It’s the first day marking your departure from the programmed path that’s strangled your hopes, dreams, wishes, and aspirations as you stood by hopelessly watching each one’s frustrating demise.
Clearing Your Way to Sobriety
Once you find where you stored the emotions in your body, you use the same system of muscle testing to find out what the emotion is causing you trouble.
It’s at this point it’s important to realize what emotions really are…
Emotions Are Reactions…
To people, places, things, situations, emotions, and energy. These last two make it seem like a hamster wheel of reactions: you to others, others to you, etc.
But this is also the opportunity to see emotions as they truly are.
Emotions are not GOOD or BAD.
When you find them, DO NOT pass judgement. Remember, you put them there. You’ve held on to them this long, and they helped get you this far in life. You might not like where you are, but you’re here, nonetheless. The experiences you’ve gathered up to this point have shaped the way you view the world. They have actually shaped the world you view in a very literal sense.
So when you find the emotions, acknowledge them, but DO NOT JUDGE.
Another way to view them is as guides or teachers. Those emotions and the reactions they caused in your helped you see the world in a completely different light as your brother/sister/mother/father/neighbor.
There are eight, yes, 8 BILLION people on planet earth and the concoction of emotions you used to steer your journey thus far is completely different than any and every other person’s emotions. You are one in 8 billion. Try winning the lottery with those odds.
But guess what? You did.
You did win the lottery.
You are here. You made it this far, and now you get to take control using what you’ve seen, experienced, and learned (hopefully) to make the next leg of the journey out of this f’n world. WOO HOOO!
Find Where, When, and Clear
We use muscle testing and the body’s meridians to find out where we stored the emotions, and at what age that happened.
Second, we identify the emotion. Is it anger, sadness, guilt, love…
“Love? We’d get rid of the good emotions, too?”
Remember, there is no good or bad.
The emotions we find are programs that run when specific triggers pop up.
Once we remove the programs, the impulsive reactions we have attached to those triggers get exposed, and that’s the glorious moment we mentioned above, the moment of choice.
You GET TO… you are presented with (might as well be on a silver platter) the CHOICE to either keep making the same decision or change, thereby directly affecting the outcome of that and future situations where the pattern existed.
Ever wish you could change the past?
When you move the emotions little 7-year-old you programmed, that’s exactly what you are doing.
You’re changing the past, so any and every instance arising in the future is no longer predetermined. You don’t need a flying Dolorean. You just time travelled!
To clear the emotions, we use emotional release points on the body corresponding to the meridians where we located them on the first sweep with muscle testing, along with a pranayamic breath called the Amo breath.
How Do I Put This Together And Stop Drinking?
That’s where Amo Ni came from.
Amo, in Spanish, means “I love”. Ni, in Chinese, means “you”. Amo Ni is a blended heart-centric system, combining kinesiology (muscle testing), meridian release points, pranayamic breathing, and NLP. It’s an east meets west system to seek and destroy. We’re not really destroying though, because there’s a certain level of tension, maybe anger, involved in that analogy. Seek and move is a better example.
The pranayamic breath helps in the moving process. Part of the healing movement comes from the sound (ah – mo). Part of the healing movement is in the breath itself.
See, when we find these emotions: when we find who they are and where they’re located, when we connect with them, thank them, and release them… we, in essence, trigger them. When that happens, we feel those emotions.
There’s feeling in them, remember. You should know, right? You’ve been feeling them for decades, only you didn’t know why.
The Amo breath helps escort the emotions out and smooths the transition between the “Aha” moment of finding them and the integration period occurring (up to 6 months) afterwards. Don’t let that “6 months” tag scare you. That’s what friends are for. That’s what I’m here for.
Some people can take this work and do it on their own.
When I discovered the muscle testing and meridian points, I needed someone else’s guidance. If your goal is to stop drinking, I’d recommend the same. You’re not in a place where you can trust yourself… yet. You will be, but let’s face it, an experienced hand helps smooth out the bumps.
Pun intended, this will be an emotional journey. I shed more tears in the first three months after I began healing than I had in the 40 years prior. You know the old saying, “It’s darkest before dawn”.
However, if you’re really determined to stop drinking and do this work on your own, I put together a free course on the Amo Ni Youtube channel that walks you through each step. I’ve also published a free guide, Amo Form, you can download from Amazon (US link) or B&N, Tolino, Kobo, and Vivlio which will also help.
Extra Benefits of Using Amo Ni to Stop Drinking
Muscle testing is THE MOST impressive skill I’ve ever learned in life. By the way, I can juggle, open bottles with nearly any object, tie cherry stems with my tongue, flip any glass full of liquid and not spill a drop, and burp the alphabet.
Like I said before, muscle testing puts you in touch with your body, something most people stop doing when they’re children.
As soon as the institutionalization called schooling comes into the picture, it’s hard not to get your round peg stuffed into the square holes.
When that happens, we’re told what to do, where to do it, when to do it, and if we’re even allowed to do it at all.
We learn to stop making decisions for ourselves.
We get coerced into letting others make our decisions.
Some of you may be brewing “You left/right (some directional) wing conspiracy theorist…( fill in the blank with your favorite swear word)”, but it’s true.
Whether you believe it or not, the walls of the institutions holding power over us continue falling, putting the power back in OUR hands. Oddly enough, Uber seems to have led the way as they single-handedly took out the taxi empire worldwide. Then came Bitcoin and block chain tech, disrupting the financial sector. The education sector is getting its hallowed halls shaken as more and more parents are choosing online learning for their kids. Next in line are the healthcare and pharmaceutical industries. Covid sent shock waves through, and severely dislodged, many of their roots.
“Where does this road lead?”
Sorry about the segue. I’m coming back soon.
As you’re entering school, during those oh-so-vulnerable years… every time you get a sniffle… where do you get carted? Yep, the pill man.
Disclaimer: Doctors have saved my life (literally) THREE TIMES! I believe there’s a time and place for medical and pharmaceutical intervention.
Having said that, it shouldn’t be every time you don’t feel good.
Really good marketing has us believing we should take a pill, swallow a potion, or get jabbed in the arm every time we don’t feel good. In doing so, we’ve farmed out the belief that we can heal.
Not only that, but we have to get “permission” in the form of a poorly scribbled doctor’s note we have to pass to their buddy, the pharmacologist, before we’re even allowed to heal.
Repeat after me: I AM A HEALER!! I CAN HEAL! MY BODY CAN HEAL!
You’ve farmed out your healing, and if you’re like everyone else on earth, you’re doing the same with your intelligence.
Yep, your phone.
“Now you’re stretching.”
- What are you doing tomorrow?
- What’s your schedule look like?
- Who are you meeting with?
- What’s their number?
- How about their last name?
- What’s the date?
- How about 8×7?
I guarantee you can’t answer most of those questions without looking at your phone.
You rely on others to heal you.
You rely on a machine to tell you what to do.
You run around connecting the dots, living in a routine that keeps you repeating the SAME THINGS, THOUGHTS, AND FEELINGS EVERY SINGLE DAY!
THE BIGGEST EXCUSE FOR BEING STUCK
“But addiction is a physical problem. The brain chemistry and the body changes and…” blah de blah blah.
Remember what I said about your power getting yanked? This is a textbook example. There are all kinds of research that says, “YES!!!” your brain chemistry changes.
And it does.
What they don’t and WILL NOT tell you is YOU have to power to change it back. Drinking changes the brain, but guess what?
The brain is plastic (changeable). Ever hear of neuroplasticity?
Yes, your brain changes when you drink, but that doesn’t mean you’re stuck with a drunk person’s brain. Dr. Joe Dispenza has proven, with thousands of brain scans, that we can affect the changes in our brain necessary to make INSTANTANEOUS transformations.
YOU’RE NOT STUCK! You are not someone’s little pet to be told what to do and when/how to do it. You are so much more powerful than you have ever imagined.
Just because you have a problem with alcohol now doesn’t mean you will always have that problem.
Here’s a little secret most successful people won’t tell you: You get to make the rules.
YOU have the power to make the changes YOU want to make.
You just have to do it on the subconscious level, where your actions and reactions are being directed, which brings up THE MAGICAL BENEFIT of this work.
Wasn’t There Something About Benefits?
Muscle testing: the most powerful tool to embrace your round peg (gotta love that one). Muscle testing, self-muscle testing to be exact, establishes direct communication with your body/subconscious. When you start asking questions, then listen to, and better yet, respect and take actions based on those answers, a funny thing happens: YOUR BODY STARTS TALKING TO YOU!!
Some people call it the third eye.
Others, intuition or inner voice
Call in Fred Flintstone, if you want.
But know this: it’s a connection you have with yourself, your family, the house you live in, the weeds in the driveway, and even ME… way over here on the other side of the planet (Kaohsiung, Taiwan, to be exact).
Everything is energy, and everything is connected.
That’s the reason you and I can do this work together over a video call.
It’s the same reason you know when something doesn’t “feel” right or if something “feels” off, explains your hunches and lightbulb moments.
It’s the same reason you think about a friend, then get a phone call from them a minute later.
Amo Ni opens the door to more of those experiences. It ushers in waves of creativity and sparks of life you’ve been too busy trying to keep quiet.
You Have All the Tools to Stop Drinking
One last thing.
I used to consider myself an alcoholic. I drank for 25 years, shook when I didn’t, reeked of it when I did, and nearly killed myself because of it on multiple occasions.
As I was putting all the pieces of Amo Ni together, I wondered “If I remove the old programs… I mean, if the old reasons why I abused myself in the first place are gone… I should be able to have a drink now.”
I was right. I can.
My life has shifted considerably since I cleared my baggage. So have my priorities. That’s what happens when you clear the stuff that perpetuated the abuse.
Last summer, after a long day in the garden, I had a beer. I knocked back quite a few more one afternoon in the fall and had a great time. I had a reeling hangover the next day, and I haven’t had one since. Winter’s here, and I’m happy with hot tea and my wife’s warm body. That’s my choice. That’s something I’m afforded now.
It’s not something to hang your hat on right now, but know what Amo Ni offers is exactly that:
Our Little Secret
Here’ the thing, my fellow whistle wetter: I know you… better than you know yourself. The work I’ve done affords me that vantage point.
And here’s what I know: You’re tough as nails. There aren’t many people who can handle the abuse you’ve laid on yourself. If you’re here, you’re close. If you turn back, it won’t be the first time. Right?
I lost count of my own attempts, so you’re in good company. But if that does happen, it doesn’t mean you failed. This work is here when you’re ready.
And when you are… watch the F’ out, ’cause, like I said, we know the amount of pain you can handle. You’ve shown what you can accomplish sloshed. Imagine the wreckin’ you’ll do when you stop drinking. Hint: it’s mega fun.
Amo Ni! (imagine saying that to yourself one day)
P.S. If think you’re ready, take this quiz.
P.S.S. The video’s for those of you who’d rather watch the presentation. I’m a better writer, by the way 😉
What Can I Drink Instead of Alcohol?
Uh, water. Seriously, though. When I stopped drinking, I switched to tea. I drink green tea throughout the day after a glass of water in the morning. In the evening, I usually have a glass or two of carbonated water with my meal. I’ve gotten to where I love that stuff.
What is Considered a Heavy Drinker?
In a way, that’s subjective. If you were out with the Pope and had two beers, he might think you are a heavy drinker.
Do you find yourself out-drinking your family, friends, and acquaintances?
Do you make excuses for your drinking?
If either is the case, you’re probably drinking too much.
Excessive drinking is just like any other activity we overindulge in. If you’re contemplating whether you’re drinking too much, you probably are.
How Do I Know I'm an Alcoholic?
F*CK labels!! I don’t like the term alcoholic, ADHD or any other labels people put on us. Those labels are crutches. We then use those labels to define who we are and what we’re able to do. More often, we use those labels to LIMIT what we THINK we’re able to do.
Most people think the label alcoholic means you let a liquid beat you down.
Get rid of labels, unless you call yourself amazing, super (insert your name), or wonder (insert your name).
If your drinking is negatively affecting your life, you’re drinking too much. Time to change!
Is It Normal To Crave Alcohol?
Do children crave candy? Yes.
Does a child crave alcohol? No, because, in most instances, a child has never tasted or been exposed to alcohol.
Do YOU crave candy sometimes? I’m craving M&M’s as I type this. Is that a problem? No.
Do you crave alcohol sometimes? Thinking about it makes me want to sit on my porch in the sun this weekend with a cold beer. There was a time in my life where that craving was insatiable, and I “had to have” a drink. See the difference?
How Do You Stop Drinking When You Don't Want to?
That’s kind of tough, and that’s the exact same situation I found myself in for most of my life.
You have to decide.
You have to make the choice between the pain and the pleasure alcohol brings you. If you associate more pleasure with drinking than stopping, there’s very little that will make you stop, except maybe the legal system. And even then, if you’re adamant about continuing, you’ll find ways.
At that point, you might realize it’s causing more harm than good. If not, you’re stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage, using alcohol to perpetuate the abuse. If you want freedom, the search within using Amo Ni is the best way to get you out of the rut.
Is It OK To Drink Every Night?
Would you eat a piece of cake every night?
Should you smoke a bowl every night?
Would you watch a movie every night?
Why do you want to drink every night? Good chance is you started off using it as a way to relax or “let off some steam”.
What excuses would you make about any of the first three questions listed above? If they sound absurd(they probably do), ask yourself why you need to make the same choice with alcohol every night.
*”I keep looking for the answers at the bottom of the bottle, but each time I come up empty.”
“My liver could swim laps around you.”
“If you keep at it, you’ll find the gutter one of these days.”
“It’s five o’clock a lot of places, that’s not your bell Pavlov.”
“The biggest difference between waking up hung over and waking up sober is… the headache, the shitty feeling that one more drink would make you feel better, the sh*t you said last night that you shouldn’t have, the way your body feels like you just raped it with a rusty machete, the stink on your breath and fuming out of your pores, you didn’t sleep for sh*t last night, you don’t know where you woke up and who the hell is on the other side of the bed, the empty wallet, and the extra atm slips, the noise (any noise), that shaky feeling, the random bruise that wasn’t there yesterday…. So yeah, they’re pretty much the same.”