Ever wonder why you think so much? Want to learn how to stop overthinking, but in keeping with that theme you think it’s impossible to stop… that you just have a beehive buzzing mind… filled with opinionated/judgemental voices and there’s nothing you can do about it?
Think again! Or stop thinking… it’s enough to drive you crazy, isn’t it?
I know how you feel. I had those “voices” in my head for decades. I tried to coax them into talking to me nicely by repeating mantras or other “positive” statements, but then they just told me I was being foolish for repeating such B.S., all the while continuing with their constant banter and critique of EVERYTHING I did, most of which was pretty f’n negative.
I think I still overthink, but the tone of those thoughts and the words associated with them (the ones I hear) are encouraging. They’re full of confidence, creative wonder, and inquisition. That’s led to a healthier life with myself, my wife, my work, and the people, places, things, emotions, and energy I interact with every day.
That’s why you’re reading this, right? You want to know how to stop the negative overthinking, don’t you?
Imagine that. How amazing would your life be if “you can’t” changed to “you can”?
Imagine replacing the negativity. I’m not just talking about injecting some flowery action statements, especially ones you don’t necessarily believe in, but you’re saying them nonetheless because a book about chicken soup or any other food for your thoughts, soul, or stomach told you to do so.
I’m talking about actually getting to the root of that thinking and changing the programs you cue as you’re going through your day; the programs you don’t even know you’re running as you’re on autopilot, going back and forth from work, the gym (if you have time), and taking care of the kids.
That’s why we have those programs in the first place. But you knew that, right?
If not, let’s dive in and dissect why you do the things you do, which also influences why you think the way you do.
Emotions Are The Root Cause Of Everything
If you are currently growing up in the western world or have already done so, you might have looked at the above headline and sneered.
You’re tougher than that, right?
“Emotions are signs of weakness… frailty,” says you as the spit hits the ground in defiance.
I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, but that’s not the case. Emotions are part of our human experience. They control not only our behavior but our physical/mental performance and spiritual connectivity, too.
Emotions are the code our bodies use to determine the actions we take on a daily basis.
Overthinking: The Programming Starts Before You’re Even Born
Not long after conception, your subconscious comes online. When it does, its main function is to keep you alive. It’s in charge of running all the programs in your body, the ones controlling your heart rate, breathing, cellular growth, and hormonal activity. It keeps the chemicals in your liver activating to clean your system and your gastric juices flowing so you can digest the food you eat, helping you grow.
Your subconscious is also in control of your reactions to the outside environment. It’s in control of your fight-or-flight system, which floods the arteries with oxygen rich blood and the hormones needed to pump our muscles to get away.
It’s also in control of the emotions popping up when all that happens.
Emotions, like everything else happening in your body, are a chemical cocktail cooked up based on the environmental input flooding your senses and the response the subconscious deems necessary to handle all that information.
Sound like a lot to handle, doesn’t it?
That’s why ALL those jobs get handed off to the subconscious. Me, you, and everybody else would crack if tasked with a millisecond of what your subconscious needs to manage.
How ’bout we get started with an example of how this all works? Let’s call this one…
Why Do I Overthink… Food for Thought 😉
You’re laying in your crib, rubbing your eyes as you wake up from a little nap. A chuckle echos in the room because you managed this one without soiling yourself.
Life is good.
It’s worked ever since you popped out, so you work up a healthy whine to get the big person with the milk through the door. A few minutes later, a baggy-eyed giant walks in with the bottle you’ve grown so fond of.
Striding to your castle, the giant steps on the tail of the hairy beast guarding your kingdom. A loud yelp, snarl, and snap of the teeth sends your warm milk flying through the air and crashing onto your head. Warm milk spills all over your face and a boo-boo quickly swells on your forehead.
The cry was supposed to bring glory, but all it brought was trauma.
The next time the stomach growls… and cues the whine, you’re not too excited about it.
In fact, you’re not having it at all. That whelp on your head is more painful than the stomach growl, so you hold out until the pain over-rides it.
For you, food now equals fear or pain. That emotion and the memory of the instance get tucked away and patterned from repeated responses to your hunger. You, my friend, are now anorexic.
This is the first time I’ve used the thin example.
I usually pull out a story for overweight people since that seems to be a bigger problem, but the scenario can go either way. Plus, within that scenario, there are hundreds of combinations of emotions you could have programmed to the event, each impacting your life a completely different way.
You Don’t Own Them (Emotions) All
Nope. Not even close.
There were two people (and a dog) in that last scenario.
How do you think dear old mom felt after that incident? I’m pretty sure it affected her, too.
Continuing with that example, let’s say the milk spilled all over the crib. Mom has to get you another bottle. She picks you up, loves you, and cuddles you the best she can to help you get over the crying. While she’s warming up another bottle, she’s trying to get an ice cube over your little whelp. The ice is a new feeling, and it’s no more fun that the swelling.
When your milk is ready, you still aren’t, but Mom is adamant about showering you with loving kisses.
The more you resist the bottle, the more your mother loves you, kisses you, and tries to make you feel better.
Ready to add another emotion?
Now, your stubbornness to take the bottle is bringing you a massive amount of love and attention. Hell yeah!
More PLEASE, right?
How Your Thinking Gets Programmed
Little baby you has two new programs in a matter of minutes
First program: food = pain
Second program: stubbornness = love
We’re on a roll now. Why stop there?
At this time, Dad walks in the door.
Mom’s busted from not sleeping the last three nights AT ALL. She’s out of reserves.
Dad looks like he’s packing a few extra ounces of patience, so it’s his turn.
Mom fills the big guy in on the events, and Dad gladly takes over to give her a break.
You’re still not having the bottle, but the big guy has you distracted long enough to sneak it in.
Once the milk hits your tongue, it’s showtime. You push it away after a few good pulls and puke on dad’s dress shirt.
Let’s call in some anger on dad’s part and mix it with the vulnerability you felt as you heaved your last meal of peas and carrots on him.
Dad doesn’t have to lose his sh*t. His anger can be not more than a pursed lip. Emotions are in us. Our reactions are manifestations of those emotions, but reactions do not necessarily have to be visible by others.
Maybe you felt vulnerable at the time of the puking. You might have felt disgust. Could have been a moment of bliss before the chunder. The emotions could be ones you consider “bad” or “good”. It doesn’t matter.
As I said earlier, the combinations are near limitless.
And these programs happen every day. They happen all the way from the womb until you are about seven years old. They happen around food, money, mom, dad, dandelions, caterpillars, and EVERYTHING ELSE.
I met a woman not long ago who’s afraid of butterflies. Can you imagine that? I couldn’t before I discovered the work I do now.
How Does This Help Me Learn How to Stop Overthinking?
Emotions are like seeds.
Sometimes the emotion we feel sprouts into a weed.
Others, the emotions sprout into a beautiful flower of abundance.
Think about your reaction to people you know with lots of money. What are your first thoughts?
Are your thoughts…
jealousy, anger, lust, spite, guilt, or shame?
hope, confidence, love, joy, or happiness?
If you feel any from the first group of emotions (jealousy, anger, lust, spite, guilt, or shame) when you think about money, people with money, or your own monetary position, what do you think the quality of the thoughts arising from those emotions will be?
Are they be nice thoughts? Happy thoughts? Well-wishing thoughts?
How about the second group: hope, confidence, love, joy, or happiness?
Those thoughts ought to accompany “nicer” thoughts, right?
Good. You’re catching on pretty fast.
Doctors’ Thoughts on Overthinking (and Emotions)
This is all based on my personal experiences over the last four and a half decades.
If you prefer words from people with initials and titles surrounding their names, according to the article, The Influence of Emotions on Learning and Memory on the Frontiers in Psychology website, “Emotion has a substantial influence on the cognitive processes in humans, including perception, attention, learning, memory, reasoning, and problem solving. Emotion has a particularly strong influence on attention, especially modulating the selectivity of attention as well as motivating action and behavior.”
How Emotions Control the Thought Process
Let’s take a look at the “cognitive processes” mentioned in the above article and how they apply to the example with you and the bottle of milk.
Perception: how we sense the world around us
Attention: the people, places, things, emotions, and energy getting our focus
* I did not pull this from the above referenced article, but emotions also dictate the level/amount of our attention, INCLUDING ADHD and other labels (more on these later) we’re piling onto the global consciousness. The accompanying definitions are also mine.
Learning: the links we establish to grow and thrive
Memory: the information we store based on the experiences we have
Reasoning: the combination of the learning and our memories to propel even more growth
Problem Solving: the combination of all three (learning, memory, reasoning) to connect the dots and re-immerse in process
Before the bottle on the head fiasco, here’s how you viewed things:
- Perception – hunger is rumbling the stomach monster awake
- Attention – on hunger and relieving it
- Learning – giant brings food
- Memory – crying brings giant
- Reasoning – if I cry, giant comes
- Problem Solving – if I’m hungry and I cry, giant brings food
After your mom bottle-whipped you, things turn out a little differently:
- Perception – hunger is rumbling the stomach monster awake
- Attention – on hunger and relieving it, then to head and fear/pain
- Learning – food causes pain
- Memory – last time I cried, for food I got hurt
- Reasoning – if I keep quiet, I’ll be safe
- Problem Solving – it’s safer to be hungry than in pain.
Side Effects of Overthinking
So, you see now that emotions directly affect the quality of our thinking.
Heavy emotions like fear, drear, anger, guilt, and anxiety cause the voices in our heads to rattle off reasons we’re so bad, stupid, lazy, and worthless.
After the voices are done with belittling us, they turn on others. The voices use the same emotions to judge, label, and berate our family, friends, co-workers and yes, the grandma at the checkout line that just pulled out her bag of coins to pay for a hundred dollars’ worth of groceries.
Light emotions like love, joy, hope, bliss, peace, and confidence fill our lives with purpose. They help us see the best in things and thus propel us further and faster at school, in sports, at work, and in our social circles.
What Causes Overthinking
Emotions cause the overthinking you associate with the turning of thoughts over, under, sideways, and every other way inside your skull. They also influence whether that commotion is positive or negative.
No one complains when the overthinking is good, right? Remember the last time you fell in love?
I do. It happened just a few days ago. My wife brought a stray dog home.
Say hi to Zonia.
We’d talked about it before and both agreed we didn’t want a dog at this stage of our lives.
She rescued the dog from the side of the road on the mountain we live on. A pack of older dogs was chasing the little puppy.
It took 10 minutes for the pup to be with us in the house before I completely melted. This was on a Friday. Sunday night, I had to run out to buy a few things. I spent the whole 30-minute trip thinking about our new family member and how happy I was she found us/we found her.
My chest swelled with happiness and love for Zonia and my wife.
Analyzing Our Overthinking Tendencies
Remember the cognitive processes above: perception, attention, learning, memory, reasoning, and problem solving?
When we are negatively overthinking, we get caught in the final stages of reasoning and problem solving.
Based on our perception of heavy emotions, we put an inordinate amount of attention on something negative or a series of negative happenings in our life.
We hold on to the feelings they caused and use those to reason that other things will work out similarly. In doing so, we are constantly reasoning or telling ourselves “this is that way or that is this way because…” then we solve the problems we face in life based on those experiences, thus creating a life dictated by all that negativity.
- How can you expect to have successful relationships if you’re still hanging onto a pain from the past?
- Why would you expect to be successful in… (your favorite sport, school subject, business endeavor, getting into shape) if you’re hanging onto the failures of your past?
- When will you allow yourself to be happy if the very system in charge of keeping you alive says it’s not safe to do so?
Definitely not today and most likely never… unless you remove the emotions keeping you stuck. You can do that, by the way. And it’s without a doubt the coolest trick I’ve ever learned. More on that later, too.
The worst part of all this overthinking is you don’t know why you do it and you don’t know when you do it either.
Because you’re curating all the emotions that get programmed. You are, but not conscious you, remember?
Your subconscious takes care of all that which means you’re bumbling away at life trying to do your best, all the while there are programs beneath the surface ACTUALLY keeping you away from the things you consciously want.
Ever feel like you’re swimming upstream, like you keep running into a wall or a glass ceiling?
YOU PUT THE CURRENT THERE!
YOUR SUBCSNIOUS BUILT THAT WALL/CEILING!!!
How’s that for a kick in the groin?
How Overthinking Affects Your Life
Think about these three situations, then let’s analyze the possibilities of overthinking them.
- Your partner sends a message and tells you not to make any plans tonight.
- You have an idea for a new business.
- You sleep late all weekend, then Monday the following week
Overthinking in a Relationship
You’re an hour from closing down at the office. It’s been a long day and an even longer week. You’re looking forward to getting away from the boss, the coworkers, even the building. All you want to do it get away from it all, including your wife, because the argument you had last night didn’t really get sorted.
As all that’s tumbling inside your head when you get a message from your partner, “Don’t make any plans tonight ;)”
That wink at the end is a good sign, “but why not make plans? What’s going on? Are we gonna hash out that argument again? Are the in-laws coming for the weekend? Just what I need, more people to deal with when I’m already exhausted. Why doesn’t he think about me for once? Why am I always the one who has to consider his feelings? The last time we got in an argument…”
Down the rabbit hole of negativity we go. All caused by overthinking.
You’ve been working a 9 – 5 for 10 years. A handful of your friends have broken out of the corporate jail. They are their own boss and they seem to be having the time of their lives, all the while you’re stuck in the cube with the fluorescent tube lights sucking the life out of you.
Your life is OK, but it’s the same thing day in and day out. You’ve had plenty of ideas, too. Some just as good, if not better than your friends’ ideas who are now successfully self-employed.
On your way to work one day, you have another idea. The idea slams into your head like an insect on the windshield. Not a bounce off, but a good splatter, so it covers a decent portion of your view. You try to wash it off, but all it does is spread further.
The idea sticks with you all day. You turn it over and under and have a good idea of how you’ll actually sell it, who would be interested, the name, slogan, and the beginning of a marketing campaign.
Then you start thinking of the last idea you had.
“That was stupid. Why did I think that would work? When’s the last time I’ve ever started anything? I don’t know anything about.. I don’t have any experience in… How would …? Who would I get to…? Where would I..? When Would I…?”
Down the rabbit hole of negativity we go. All caused by overthinking.
Every time you get sick, the first thing you do is look up the symptoms online. What starts as a way to identify what your body is dealing with turns into an amateur detective drama. You vs. the invaders. Sometimes those invaders are just nasty colds, other times, you think you might have some obscure disease or even the dreaded C-word.
“That lump wasn’t there yesterday, was it? Why am I so tired today?”
You don’t sleep the next night too and the sleepless nights turn into self-fulfilling prophecy with your health getting worse and worse until you’re constantly dragging ass and feeling heavy from all life “throws at you”.
Down the rabbit hole of negativity we go. All caused by overthinking.
Labels and Magic for Overthinking
First off: LABELS.
I do NOT agree with them, ESPECIALLY the limiting ones.
I was, for most of my life, what some people would call an alcoholic and drug addict. I also embraced patterns of self-sabotage, self-abuse., and a negative self-worth that pushed me away from most every relationship, including family, friends, romantic partners, and even money.
And yes, you have a relationship with money, and if it sucks, you don’t get to have any.
If I believed I was an alcoholic, I would still be trapped by the limits the definition of that term implies. That’s a huge injustice to me, you, and any others you label with that term. It’s the same with fat, stupid, loser, slow, etc., etc.
First of all, we are in a constant state of change. You are a completely different person than you were when you started reading this article. You might not feel that way, but a scientist looking under the microscope of the cells (any cells) in your body could verify this.
That means a label you give yourself or one you allow others to tag you with is something that limits you. It keeps you in the defining characteristics of that label for as long as you choose to accept it.
Let’s take one of my old labels: alcoholic.
If you see yourself as an alcoholic and if you use the mantra of AA to guide your life decisions, you have surrendered your power to a liquid. That means a manmade, fermented concoction is stronger than you are.
Do you believe that?
Whether you do or do not, I DO NOT!
I refuse to believe I am a slave to that substance.
I was, for over two decades, a clinically diagnosed alcoholic (that’s what they said).
Before I stopped drinking, I was at a case of beer (24) a day and whiskey at night to put me down. I blacked out most nights and hated waking up the next morning. One, because I felt like sh*t, and two, because I hated my life.
If you’re constantly abusing yourself with drugs, alcohol, or EMOTIONS, what will be your line of overthinking? Positive or negative?
The things we feel, influence the thoughts we have, which dictate the things we do and the life we live.
Don’t Let Things You CAN CONTROL Define You
As a child, you have no control over the programs your subconscious installs, which, as you now know, are the reactions you experience to the world around you.
You DO, however, have control over the labels you tag yourself with, at least when talking to others ie. about yourself to others.
Or do you?
Remember what I said about programs you run that you’re not aware of? The way you talk to yourself out loud OR to yourself is directly influenced by these unconscious programs.
I don’t like many of the terms and labels we use… for once they work themselves into our global consciousness, they have a way of manifesting at an alarming rate. Look at the growth of ADHD over the last couple of decades.
Pick any uptick in disease or malady. As attention to it increases, so does the problem.
Our current pattern of behavior is such that when we manifest a “malady” we run to the doctor to have them fix it. Your health and healing are your responsibility to guard and foster, not someone else’s to fix.
The Magic of Overthinking (Positively)
Before I stumbled upon the work that is now Amo Ni, I was constantly raking myself over the coals about what a failure I was.
I distinctly remember a penalty shootout to decide a tied soccer match I played in as a teen.
I dinged the side post, and the ball ricocheted behind the keeper into the net.
When the game was over, my team celebrated. I kicked dirt back to the sideline, lamenting my sh!tty shot. I meant to hit the side netting. I still scored, but not the way I wanted.
I did the same with all of my performances in school, sports, artistic pursuits, with girlfriends, work, lifting weights, health, and anything AND EVERYTHING between.
Let me ask you a few questions:
- How can you succeed when your life is constantly focused on the failures?
- Why would you allow yourself to succeed if failure is always on your mind?
- When do you think you would succeed if every thought is concentrated on its opposite?
- Where would success appear if failure was the plot you sat in?
- What can you do to succeed when failure is on your mind?
- Who can help you succeed if failure is your modus operandi?
Here’s the cheat sheet. These are ALWAYS the answers.
- You can’t 2. You wouldn’t 3. Never 4. Nowhere 5. Nothing 6. No one
How’s that for a powerful dose of motivation?
Substitute failure with negative overthinking.
You get the same answers, don’t you?
Let’s switch it up.
Now, substitute failure with positive overthinking.
The cheat sheet answers look a little different.
- You can…(fill in the blank) 2. Because your attitude will help you find a way 3. As soon as you decide to 4. Everywhere 5. The list goes on and on 6. Everyone
Which cheat sheet looks more appealing?
Ready to learn how to fix your own cheat code for life?
Using Amo Ni to Fix Overthinking
- Emotions run the programs.
- Programs dictate your reactions.
- Reactions create YOUR life.
If you want to change the emotions, there’s only one way I’ve found to do so.
Let me say this first.
To overcome the emotions, you need to be aware of the power they have over you ,AND you need to SEE the unconscious decisions you make daily; the ones shaping your life and influencing your overthinking. This is called awareness, or more specifically… self-awareness.
Some people achieve self-awareness with exercise, knitting, meditation, or any other activity that pulls them out of their habitual behaviors. When you’re in your habitual behaviors, which most people are most of the time, the subconscious is in control. And you already know what happens when those gears are grinding.
I’ve cycled more miles than a lot of people have driven. I’ve been around Taiwan, through Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand and across America (coast to coast) on a bicycle. I’ve spent thousands of dollars on Mindvalley courses, self-help books, retreats, and dozens of different energy healing and holistic healing modalities.
Each and every one of those aforementioned tools helped me, but I still struggled immensely. I still felt limited. I knew “something” was holding me back, and I knew it was me. I also knew it was emotional. The pieces just wouldn’t fall into place.. until… Amo Ni.
Muscle Testing to Find the Emotions
This is without a doubt the most valuable skill I’ve ever learned in life. I was a boy scout, learned hot to juggle and open a beer bottle with a lighter in university. I’ve traveled the world and lived in six different countries. I’ve studied physics, programming, psychology, mathematics, marketing, communications, healing, and dozens and dozens of others subjects.
Nothing I’ve learned has been more transformative.
Muscle testing puts you in direct contact with the very system guarding the gates to your self-awareness: YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS!
Ask a question. Get an answer. Muscle strength is a “yes”. Muscle weakness is a “no”.
Not only do you get answers, but once you start asking AND, more importantly, listening, a whole new world opens up to you. It’s a world you shut yourself off from when you were a kid, when you were taught to listen to others and ignore your own voice.
Some people call it the third eye. Some call it your sixth sense. It’s real, and its power gets amplified with use.
As you “talk” to your body and find the emotions you’ve stored throughout the years, your body responds. It starts as a whisper, but the volume gets louder as you get more intimate.
Muscle testing helps you find the blocks holding you back and re-establishes the long-lost connection with your true soul mate.
Meridian Points to Tag and Release the Emotions
Using a meridian chart based on Chinese medicine, you locate the limiting emotions holding you back and creating the negative overtone influencing your overthinking.
Once you find the emotions, meridian release points on the body establish a connection between the buried emotions and your intention of letting it go.
Pranayamic Breathing to Move the Emotions
The day I discovered the Amo breath is the day the emotional clearing work I do changed forever.
Emotions are real. You may not be able to touch them like the phone or computer you’re reading this on right now, but emotions are real things.
When you find and connect with the emotions, you feel them. It can be like finding a den of snakes in your basement; snakes that bite.
The Amo breath is literally a love breath. Amo, in Spanish, means “I love”.
The breath sounds like this “Ahhhh- Mmmmmm- Ooooooo”. To see it in action, check out the YouTube video below.
The “Ahhh” is an open-mouthed exhale similar to the initial sound of Ohm. The “Mmmm” part of the breath rattles and hums in the ribcage, and the “Oooo” escorts all the energy out.
Combining the meridian release points and the Amo breath helps pull the fangs out of the snakes you find.
NLP to Program New Thoughts
Once the emotions are gone, you put your conscious self into the shrink’s chair and ask yourself where you see yourself now the emotion is gone.
Imagine yourself living a life where the restraints of the emotion are long gone and the choices you make and the life you live are a rich, abundant reflection of them all.
Why Meditation Doesn’t Help Remove Overthinking
I’m a doer. I’ve never been one to sit around and wait for things to happen.
Don’t get me wrong. I love meditating. I do it several times a week for a few minutes in the mornings, after my breathing routine.
The biggest problem with meditating is it takes a LONG time to work.
Yes, you can see benefits as soon as your first 15 minutes with meditation, and those are the benefits I’m looking for when I do it, but what happens once you get up from your cross-legged stupor?
Do the benefits of that meditation carry on throughout the day?
For the first little while, they do. At least they did for me, but as the day wears on, all that patience and mindfulness seems to get pulled back like a retractable string on a toy and off you go running the same programs that put you pretzel-legged.
If you’re looking to calm the mind in the morning and get your day started on the right foot, meditation is a GREAT way to achieve that.
If you’re trying to figure out how to stop overthinking, the tools I listed above and the Amo Ni program is faster, more efficient, and more importantly, it’s targeted.
With Amo Ni, YOU dive into YOUR motherboard.
YOU find the programs holding YOU back.
And YOU release them.
YOU DO THE WORK!
And YOU reap all the benefits.
Benefits YOU share with YOUR family, friends, acquaintances, and even the old lady at the grocery store checkout.
If you’ve not yet been exposed to the wonders of this work, I can show you the way. Book a free session with me to see how it works and discover the magic for yourself.
Stop overthinking your way to failure and start overthinking your way to success, love, happiness, abundance, and the beauty life offers.
What's the difference between anxiety and overthinking?
Anxiety’s that feeling you get when you’re obsessing over things you can’t control.
Overthinking is the voice creating the comments, questions, and drama fueling that feeling.
“Quiet. Shhhhh. (Blackness) I did it. Wait. That’s my voice. DAMNIT… Quiet. Shhh…”
“Remember falling in love? That’s overthinking, too.”
“I think… Wait a second. I thought I quit doing that.”